The Magic Marshtian Tent: Carnival of souls

Friday, November 8, 2013

Carnival of souls

Roll up, roll up for the Magical Marshtian Mystery Tour!! You will find yourselves by turns amazed, astounded, agog and aghast at the range of bad behavior and sheer lunacy on display here in the Big Top of Belligerent Bellicosity. Don't miss the nightly freak show featuring a bizarre cast of characters including Billie Rubin, Chatty CathyDin O'Barrell, MarciaMarciaMarcia Peterbradyson, Nora Farter, Merry Ourang-Outang, Dronin' Bourbon, Icky Vickie Ditchbird, Coral Biggot and many others.
Your Ringmaster and Head Marshtian, Fearless Leader, will be happy to punch your ticket and show you to your seat ... as long as you blindly follow him wherever he leads. No questions are allowed and no dissension among the ranks is permitted, but there is plenty of free Kool-Aid for everybody. Now sit back and enjoy the show!

1 comment:

Christopher Twelvetrees said...: This is a very strange blog. Does anyone know what this is all about? Surely someone's just having us on, eh?; November 15, 2013 at 6:46 PM

Bragging rights

Time for a little horn blowing, folks. :-) We here at The Magic Marshtian Tent are very proud of the fact that in the 13 months that this blog has been in existence, we have had more than 1,700 hits and over 8,000 pageviews.

In addition, we have readers in 29 countries around the world! Say what you will about our methods or our sanity, we are definitely doing something right to be garnering such attention.

A heartfelt thanks to all of our loyal followers, curious bystanders, agitated mouth-breathers and amused perusers. And a huge shout-out to Fearless Leader and the Starved Rock Sleuthettes!! We couldn't have done it without you. No, really. We couldn't have! LMFAO!!!

Rave reviews for The Magic Marshtian Tent!

Bitter Billie Rubin: "I do think the IIP will find this amusing and look into who they are. Signed Bitter Billie."
Chris Ford: "WTF lol!!"
Fearless Leader: "Everyone who knows me, knows I am a sucker for flattery. Thanks. JTW"
Mac Guffin: "It is hysterical!!! True !!!! Dead on !!!! Gawd, I wish I had thought of this first."
Dre Plique: "ahahahahaha ahahahahah ahahahahahah ahahahah athat is the funniest thing I have ever seen. Kudos to the creative mind that made it up. Lol"
Ruth Safranski: "Well somebody has some mad writing skills!! Lol"
Jack Jackson: "I absolutely bow down in the presence of greatness here. All hail the king. This is good"
Fearless Leader again: "Wow!"
Pat Micklewright: "Oh how I do Love The Magic Marshtian Tent:)"
Jane Otwu: "Just went back and checked it out again. Lots of new stuff on there. LMFAO!! I am bookmarking this sucker!"
Joseph Blow: "This is Prime Material. Today's addition of Coral "Plugged Nickel" Biggot! could be on the biography channel. My hats off to the author of this blog. Best laughs I've had in a long time."
Millicent Bracegirdle: "My sincerest compliments to the author of this blog. I sneak into it at work and more than once raised eyebrows for the laughing coming from my office."

Crazy-ass Quote of the Month

Top 10 Reasons to Leave the SRM Group:

10. Your New Year’s resolution is to cut out unhealthy habits.

9. You are tired of being laughed at by your friends and family members.

8. For Christmas, Santa brought you that conscience you were so sorely lacking.

7. Your husband has discovered your online obsession with a convicted triple murderer and is none too pleased with your sorry ass.

6. The pathetic and pointless sideshow into which the SRM group has evolved no longer amuses you and you have grown weary of waiting for some actual evidence to be presented by the Sleuthettes.

5. A sudden insight has shown you that your continued membership in such a sick group serves no purpose other than making a handful of lunatic losers feel important.

4. Fearless Leader has insulted you once too often.

3. You finally sobered up long enough to realize the pain you are causing the surviving family members of the victims, not to mention the damage you are doing to Chester Weger’s chances for parole.

2. You have been brutally murdered in your own home by a former prison inmate after sending Chester a greeting card with your actual home address written on the envelope.

1. You fear seeing yourself viciously profiled on The Magic Marshtian Tent!!

Train Wreck of the Month Award

By unanimous consent, the second recipient of this dubious distinction is Tepid Starch aka Fearless Leader, whose cheese has most definitely slid off its cracker over the last few weeks. With posts like this one from Jan. 5, 2014, it's only a matter of time before the men in the white coats are knocking at his door: "No one will even watch this video. I bet. I had a friend comment to me today: (he is 33) How do you see what you see? You are 64, why is your brain so fast and sharp? Iodine. And I don't walk my dog. We run. Listen and learn. JTW"

Accept no imitations!

There seems to be a proliferation of Starved Rock murder sites on Facebook now. In addition to Fearless Leader's original recipe, a group of outraged citizens opposed to the mission and tactics of the Committee to Free Chester Weger started an extra crispy group last fall dubbed "Starved Rock Murders -- The Truth," which is still in existence (the admins have merely changed its status to "secret") despite what Bitter Billie Rubin keeps telling her pals.

Then there is the sweet and sour "Illinois Valley Crimes, Times & Controversies" group which occasionally discusses other area events and issues, but mostly enjoys poking fun at the Committee while also providing actual intelligent, non-combative discourse on the Weger case and trial.

Another group, confusingly named "Starved Rock murders" by its now disinterested founder (none other than Don't Worry, Bizzy Bee "Unhappy Piss Pond" Swirling), was recently hijacked under hilarious circumstances by Jack J. and counts among its unsuspecting members none other than Billie Rubin and Coral Biggott.

And just to even further muddy the already foul, reeking waters, Tepid Starch has started a brand spanking new deja vu group called ... are you ready for this? Starved Rock Murders 2.0! LMFAO!! This one is "closed," no doubt so Fearless Leader can keep everything "sweet and fresh" and avoid all of the pesky facts, original trial transcripts and actual evidence that ruined his other group.

Let's review: The granddaddy of all sites, the mother lode, the one we here at the Magic Marshtian Tent are sadistically skewering, is this one, Starved Rock Murders. Read it and weep! (Either with laughter at their pathetic attempts at solving the "crime of the century" or with sorrow at their obvious lack of basic humanity and empathy for others.)

Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

Tepid Starch blusters: "OK...I can do about two hours on this crap. But all everyone needs to know was that it was published in the Daily Crimes. And look who wrote it and who was quoted in it. The Usual Suspects. But (name withheld by blog administrator) still thinks that we are all idiots, and believe everything that is printed in the paper. Am I the only person who remembers the 'Magic Tent'. No blood. Then Tent. Then blood every where. Reported in the Daily Crimes. Where was the 'ace' investigative reporting then? Where is it now? The ONLY in-depth facts-based reporting on the Starved Rock Murders case is on this page.If SS was so confident of his fakey confession, that he so proudly shows in his video, then why didn't he post it in the interest of truth? WHY? JTW"

Billie Rubin's muddled reply: "Or truth,. think about it. If he did so sell the rights to his book, his ever ongoing thing about the conviction of guilt even if Otto is given parole, that bastard could still win. Unless Chester Otto never admits to the crime."

Starch responds with vigor: "Billie-he is screwed. On the cover of his book it says: A true Story. Well, its a story alright, its just not true. Which means a class action lawsuit, requiring a full refund for everyone who bought that pack of lies. Lawyers are lining up. Plus, anyone stupid enough to make that movie would be liable as well! Cha-ching!. JTW"

Harassed local author: "Not true. … Name one attorney." (Repeats request for Fearless Leader to name a single attorney who is "lining up.")

Starch's big comeback, covering his ass: "Its a metaphorical statement. Do you know what that is? JTW"

(Above comments originally posted on Facebook Oct. 1, 2013)

What's on Chester's iPod?

"A Long Time Gone" by Electric Light Orchestra
"Are 'Friends' Electric?" by Gary Numan
"Back on the Chain Gang" by The Pretenders
"Caught in a Trap" by Electric Light Orchestra
"Chain Gang" by Sam Cooke
"Cook County Jail" by B.B. King
"Down in a Hole" by Alice In Chains
"Electric Avenue" by Eddy Grant
"Electric Funeral" by Black Sabbath
"Folsom Prison Blues" by Johnny Cash
"Framed" by Saga
"High Voltage" by AC/DC
"I Fought the Law" by The Bobby Fuller Four
"Jailbreak" by AC/DC
"Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis Presley
"Lawyers, Guns and Money" by Warren Zevon
"Mama Tried" by Merle Haggard
"Prisoner of Love" by Perry Como
"Stayin' Alive" by The BeeGees
"Suspicious Minds" by Elvis Presley

Sporting lunacy up the ying-yang

Trying to show how hip and trendy she is, Billie Rubin asks a 16-year-old girl if she has any tattoos. Then adds, "BTW I do."

The teenager in question responds that no, she does not as it is against the law in Illinois for a minor to have one and even sagely notes that for a parent to allow this would be considered child endangerment.

Billie obliviously replies: "My tat is Yin and YANG. I have no idea why I have always wanted it. Then found out what it meant. That was a big revelation to me." (Originally posted on Facebook Sept. 24, 2013)

All I can say is that I am glad Billie has had at least one revelation in her sad life.

Most Illiterate Rant of the Month

I am ready n know what to say ... who too say itt to and when to say itt lol l I am part t ready. .. lets go do it. It's time to surprise some ppl. I can hardly wait. Lol I am in my broom n ready to ride !!!!!!!

Oh absolutely !!! I think it's time heads roll. ... I am doing my letters now !!! F...... this county. What is right is right. Its a free country n they are making prisoners out of all of us. The word used on the street is s.t.o.p. if you let them abuse you they will. Speak up now for your freedom before we lose the only thing we have left. ......

Ty Cathy ... its been too long for justice in LaSalle county. They have messed over to many ppl. They have the right ones now. The bs is over. Strike one n home run for us. Now we are moving onward n upward. Maybe Chicago is at the other end when we wipe out LaSalle county. .....

-- Coral Biggot (Originally posted on Facebook Nov. 10-11, 2013)

Courting disaster

Editor's Note: This probably explains Coral's obvious grudge (see Most Illiterate Rant of the Month above) against LaSalle County and its law enforcement community.

Coral Biggot: "Seriously tho ... I am in trouble with LaSalle county court system anyway. I had a judge tell me when we had as conflict of interest with her n I asked for another judge. She said it has to be in writing. . No problem. Them she waived it n said you won but the next bullet is for you !!!!! I so wanted to ask what that meant but all along she was rolling her eyes n flipping her hair do if I said anything. She would have got me for contempt. And you don't want to be sitting in LaSalle county jail. Believe me."

(Originally posted on Facebook Nov. 3, 2013)

Possibly actionable

Icky Vickie Ditchbird: Kathy S lets go hiking this winter together after it snows and lets see how good your footing is on ice and snow. I will supply the shoes that are similar to what Chester was wearing and lets see how we do? Its easy to make assumptions and yes he was used to the walking of the trails and yes he was in the military but that doesn't mean he was able to do this. I know how to swim but I don't think I would be very good at it if it was 10 degrees outside and ice in the water. Just step and think about it. If you want to argue with all of us let me give you my ex-husband phone #. He will argue with you all day if you like about anything. If you want to support Chester with us then please do give some positive input.

MarciaMarciaMarcia Peterbradyson: Take rope on that hike with Kathy S.

Icky Vickie: Marcia any cave will do???

MarciaMarciaMarcia: Hatchet, blood, oh what the hey...tell us what cave and we will bring the stuff and meet you.

Icky Vickie: Don't forget your purse??? LMAO!!!

MarciaMarciaMarcia: That's it. Now you got me laughing and I won't stop.

MarciaMarciaMarcia: ROTFLMAO

Icky Vickie: ME TOO!!!

MarciaMarciaMarcia: Okay..who else is going? We aren't getting framed and going down for this alone you know.

(The above comments were originally posted on Facebook Nov. 5, 2013)

The Magic Marshtian Tent

Friday, November 8, 2013

Carnival of souls

1 comment:

In case you're wondering...

Music of mayhem

Suckers punched